― Jay McInerney, The Last of the Savages
My family is perfect, and that includes the non-requisite-by-blood members too. I am lucky, I thank God that I am so lucky to have any family at all. I can't...function properly without them. They are my sanity and if ever I needed it, they alone could be my sole reason to exist and live. I would die for you guys, no hesitation, I know it in my heart and soul.
My family is perfect, because they're all so flawed and imperfect. All the imperfections and flaws help keep life at least for myself, interesting, real. I know mine is no where near as close-knit as other families. It isn't very communication friendly, at least verbally. It isn't very whole all the time. That made me, very sad. We have collectively as a family the patience of a sugar high seven-yr-old. We've been through hard times, are going through difficult times and have overcome impossible circumstances. And I hope we realized along the way that it was together that we prevailed, together with sharing and love, understanding, being stupid, crying and hugging, together with love (that over-rated emotion) that we became and are a family. I will never stop loving you all. I can barely stand you all. It sucks.
That quote up there is hilarious to me because it's true, families are a pain in the donkey. Yes, I would be an inmate at Mental Hospital if I could not know people outside of my immediate family whom I sleep, eat and live every single freaking day with. I'm very glad that our creator had the decency to equip us with the capacity for friends along with family within our hearts. I'm very (not really) upset with our creator's sense of humor. He who gave us smart-mouthed little brothers and crabby mother-in-laws, please, no encores. It's alright though guys, I think God more than made up for that with best friends, brothers-from-another-mothers, soul sistas, bros, homies, etc. Also isn't it ironic that within our lovely lovely families is where we often find our closest of friends.
I hope you've realized by now that my audience is you guys, mi familia. I need to start talking to you guys, leaving things for you to remember good old me by. My thoughts, how I think and feel about the world and so on so forth. We don't really talk, deeply about things right? There is no profound communication. Banalities seem to suffice for day to day interaction but I know that you all have crazy deep reasoning and opinions about the world. If I never get the chance to talk about it with you all I want you to do it for yourselves okay? I've never fully shared my feelings about anything. Don't worry I don't plan on pouring out the dark recesses of my soul here, but I do want to let you see the world through my viewfinder. Morbid thoughts aside, I really do love you all. This is like the third time I've said it?
"You know I love you so..."